I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
