Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
