I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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