and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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