Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am one with the molecules
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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