Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish i was in the wii world.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
