i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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