Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
