k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
