yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
