Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I yelled at your uterus for you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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