So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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