Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize
