it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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