He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
