we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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