I cockslap morals
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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