I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize