Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
