Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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