its not stalking. its research.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
