it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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