when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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