Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
