you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize