Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
