Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize