They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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