ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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