It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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