margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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