I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
