somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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