brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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