I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
