I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
