Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
