i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize