This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize