I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
