Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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