season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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