i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
