Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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