sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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