Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
