I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
