i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
