Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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