thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
