Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
