sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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