Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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