I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
