i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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