Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
