You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
