it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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