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today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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