Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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