you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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