how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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