he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
