worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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