At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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