Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
